Some days I wake up with the mindset that I just need to go through the normal daily routines.
Other days I get out of bed feeling energized. Like waking up with an extra dose of Adrenalin for moving on to new ventures, whatever is visible in the near horizon. Whatever is in concoction. The plans and hope of doing something worthy and something economical enough to keep me busy. Something that will also prepare me for the future.
And then there are days like today. I woke up and got out of bed somehow feeling lost and tired. The night did not give me enough rest. The yesterday did not give me enough reason to do something more today. And the present, just wants me to wallow again in the past.
What to do?
Someone once said:
“The hardest thing about life so that it is so daily…. Life has a way of shooting up holes in our cup, leaving us empty.”
Perhaps, this is exactly what I am feeling…EMPTY!
Though, I would also strongly disagree. Because I do not see any reason to feel this way. I cannot fathom why I would go through this feeling of emptiness.
I am not some lovesick teenager missing her crush.
I am not some young girl involved in an unrequited love.
And I think I am not yet going through midlife crisis. (???)
Nope.. I am none of these, and yet… I feel something missing.
Fact check:
I have a very understanding and loving husband who takes care of me.
I have a wonderful family who supports me.
I am Healthy.
I have a job that I can go back to once this pandemic is over.
I have a roof above my head.
I can afford to eat three complete meals in a day.
It’s not that I am not contented in life, because I am.
Perhaps, I can say, I am just thirsty.
Perhaps, I should just go follow the path that people go, when they are in search of the Fountain.
Yes, THE Fountain of Life!
It might just be necessary for me to get a refill of it, enough to last me for the next 50 years or so…