Have you ever experienced a time when you plan everything for a new beginning, a new start. Somehow, you get stuck in a situation?

First, you make a list of what to do’s. Then you slowly go through the list, scratching one off each time it is already accomplished. Somewhere along the long list, you somehow get stuck at one item. You do what you think is right to get it accomplished, but then it doesn’t seem to work. So, you leave it for a while and you go through the next items on your list. Then, somehow, you come across another item which stands in conflict with the previous undone item in the list. So, again you try to do something about it. Get an expert to finish the job, since it is necessary. You hire a lawyer. Apparently, after a long wait, it still cannot be corrected, until you get frustrated. What do you do? You approach a person whom you think is knowledgeable. You trust the person would be able to help you and perhaps see things in a different perspective and you let them take the lead on fixing the problem. You wait for some months, perhaps even years and then, you realize that you have been tricked by this other person you relied on.

Again, the question: “what should you do?”

An acquaintance of mine here in Frankfurt am Main has a dilemma. I’ll name her Vee. Vee has been trying to get order back in her life. She started a list of to do things. She managed to get some done, but apparently she keeps coming back to a certain problem again and again. Her civil status in the Philippines. Her marriage was not yet annulled. She hired a lawyer, but it didn’t work for some reason and eventually the case was dismissed. She then again got another lawyer and was again assured that it would be done, but somehow, she was just tricked. The second lawyer did not even bother to file her petition for annulment. Supposedly, this said lawyer whom she never met and “she doesn’t even know the name” promised her solution to her dilemma. They agreed a certain amount as compensation. Vee prepaid a big sum to the person. She arranged with the lawyer that the balance of the agreed amount would be paid once the case has reached a finality. After two years of long wait, she found out that she has been once again, swindled. He case was never filed although she was told that they were just waiting for the annotation of the Local Civil Registrar’s Office.

Okay, I must admit, somehow, someone either made an “honest mistake”, error perhaps in the process, couldn’t correct it anymore and wanted to start all over again. But the problem was Vee could not wait anymore. It took already a couple of years for her to wait and she was already demanding results. To which she has all the rights. OR that same someone, did not really intend to help her… but she needed Vee’s money anyway, so she promised but did not deliver. In the end, the person who inter-mediated, referred and assured Vee of results lost face in the process. I’ll name this person “Jay”. Jay is a Philippine civil servant. Jay works at the Philippine Consulate here in Frankfurt am Main, Germany. Suffice it to say, Vee and a lot of other people have very high regards to the people who work at the Philippine Consulate here in Frankfurt. Well, now Jay lost face and dignity. (Jay’s story is for another entry.)

The next question is: how much would you be willing to sacrifice to get something done?

In Vee’s case, she was willing to go through all the trouble and was willing to pay hard earned money for her problem. She worked hard and fought as much as she could/is capable of. Vee called me asking for help. She wanted to confirm her doubts about her case. Somehow, she felt that it was all just talk and nothing was actually done. She wanted it checked, researched and eventually, got shocked that she was really fooled by the people she trusted. People whom she thought were knowledgeable and honest enough. Another person told Vee she should just not do anything about it anymore. Leave it as it is and just let mother nature take its course on the problem. There must be some divine reason why Vee’s previous marriage cannot be annulled. Some sort of natural intervention against the annulment of her marriage. Isn’t is that “God ordained marriage to be a lifelong commitment between man and wife”…”therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate”… and maybe she is also right.

In the end, Vee lost a lot of time, money and friends. Now she has to settle another item in her list first and wait until she is again able to work on the still “unfinished item”. In short she is letting the “unfinished item” rest for awhile. For a very long while!

This entry was posted in Personal musings, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.