6th Week of mixed emotions…

Still on stay at home mode… I am already on my 6th week… and still counting.
From the looks of this, I may still have to stay at home until the end of June 2020. At the very least… or until I get re-called earlier than June 30, 2020.

I thank God that in these times, trotz the virus pandemic:

I’m good.
I am blessed to not have caught the virus.
I am blessed that i can still have my meals comfortably.
I am blessed that I don’t need to sacrifice myself physically to help fight the spread of the virus.

On the other hand, I feel sad that people are being a headache.
They demand to defy the rules.
They are being unreasonable and being difficult.
They disregard the fact that they may help contribute to the pain and suffering of others.

Also, my heart cries out to those who are suffering from the virus directly.
I bleed for those who cannot keep both ends meet.
I feel the people who are troubled about how or where or when to get the finances to provide for their families.
I hurt for those who doesn’t have anything at all.. and can’t even get help from their local government.

Thousands have died… Hundreds are in critical condition and millions are suffering.

How do we end this battle? How do we conquer this pandemie?

Please people, adhere!

Stay at home and help the world HEAL!!!

Positive effect of corona

I am now at my 5th week of stay at home and counting.
So, how have I spent my days at home?

It’s amazing what one finds to repair or to do at home nowadays.
I never thought there were so many things awaiting my tender loving care, ;). Repairs-mostly.
Big project like painting–honestly, I am still thinking about it. But it definitely needs to be done as well…
Hopefully, I’ll get to it before I go back to work again 😉 😉

For now, I have done:

Apartment cleaned up from all rooms, nooks and corners. Windows and glass doors included!
Tried new cake recipes.
Learned how to cook other Asian Cuisine (Korean & Japanese).
Sewing machine which was rusting away in the cupboard is out again.
Self made face mask is a success.
Jackets with missing buttons are now repaired.
Clothes with wear and tear are also patched.
Blog site updated.
XXL size warm blankets all washed and folded.

More positive effects:
Less shopping for unnecessary things.
CC is definitely on vacation as well.
Cabinets are not getting stressed out for new things.

What about you… what have you been up to?

Are you gifted?

Hmmm…

I often wonder what my real talent is.

I started to learn to play the guitar… but not much luck.

I do karaoke every now and then.. but as my brother used to tell me when we were quite small: “I should just stop!”

Hahaha… I laugh about it nowadays, but I remember, I cried the whole afternoon that day.

Then, when I was in my teenage years, my mom hired a Dance Instructor to teach us girls how to dance.. Ballroom dancing to be exact.

Of course, me as the oldest among the girls, got to go first. I did quick step, chacha, waltz and tango.

My lessons did not last though. I got kicked out of the floor. My mom always said, “okay, enough of that. Let your sisters take their turns now.” I obliged, thinking I would get my chance again after them…

Well, I got the chance to learn ballroom dancing again after I got married…. the second time!

I learned it again with my hubby when we were still residing in Brussels, Belgium. We took a course where we learned several dances.

We had fun, though I can’t say the same for my teacher. I guess I gave her (and needless to say my hubby as well) a headache at every session.

She complained all the time that I was leading the dance instead of my husband. I reasoned out that I knew the steps better than my husband… which was of course unacceptable both to my teacher and to most definitely to my hubby.

Hahah, only then did I realize that my mom was right. (Mothers always knows best!)

I’m not gifted in the art of dancing either.

So, what is my real talent?

Believe you me, I have lived almost 5 decades of my life in this world and I still don’t know myself!

To appease myself, I always think that I know a bit of this and a bit of that… but I am not obligated to excel in each genre.

Yes, that is my excuse!

What’s yours?

To live past the Covid-19 qualm

Nowadays:
Negative means GOOD!
Positive is a scary word.
Masks are not only to hide oneself,
it is also to keep your youth and good health.

Treasures are not anymore stones and diamonds,
they are now the freedom to get out from home.
Vacations are better spent in your own garden or at home in your den,
getting served by waiters in restaurants are but a dream
and your kitchen becomes your kingdom realm.

Toilet paper and kitchen rolls are as worthy as your security bonds
and boy… don’t forget your paper bills are fun to squander,
if you can find a shop to wander.
Else online shopping is best done, where Credit cards and digital wallets are more welcome.

So, if you still want to live past this covid-qualm

Vaccines and remedies are the highest trending
Virtual world is now the hip thing
Human contact is best avoided
Lest somebody wants to be morbid.

The real culprit of the crime,
is not anymore a person or a gang
be cautious when you are out
keep distance from the sneezing and cough.

Stay at home people…. Let’s all stay safe and be warned!

Quench the thirst

Some days I wake up with the mindset that I just need to go through the normal daily routines.

Other days I get out of bed feeling energized. Like waking up with an extra dose of Adrenalin for moving on to new ventures, whatever is visible in the near horizon. Whatever is in concoction. The plans and hope of doing something worthy and something economical enough to keep me busy. Something that will also prepare me for the future.

And then there are days like today. I woke up and got out of bed somehow feeling lost and tired. The night did not give me enough rest. The yesterday did not give me enough reason to do something more today. And the present, just wants me to wallow again in the past.

What to do?

Someone once said:

“The hardest thing about life so that it is so daily…. Life has a way of shooting up holes in our cup, leaving us empty.”

Perhaps, this is exactly what I am feeling…EMPTY!

Though, I would also strongly disagree. Because I do not see any reason to feel this way. I cannot fathom why I would go through this feeling of emptiness.
I am not some lovesick teenager missing her crush.
I am not some young girl involved in an unrequited love.
And I think I am not yet going through midlife crisis. (???)
Nope.. I am none of these, and yet… I feel something missing.

Fact check:
I have a very understanding and loving husband who takes care of me.
I have a wonderful family who supports me.
I am Healthy.
I have a job that I can go back to once this pandemic is over.
I have a roof above my head.
I can afford to eat three complete meals in a day.

It’s not that I am not contented in life, because I am.
Perhaps, I can say, I am just thirsty.
Perhaps, I should just go follow the path that people go, when they are in search of the Fountain.

Yes, THE Fountain of Life!

It might just be necessary for me to get a refill of it, enough to last me for the next 50 years or so…

A concave is not a convex

It seems like people are still stuck in a misconception,
I do still feel that at times.
Sometimes, I somehow get lost in translation…
… when reading between the lines.

Or maybe, I am just the type of person who sees black as black; red as red and yellow as yellow. I do believe that a concave is not a convex… nope, no at all!

A few months back, I got into a conversation with a very closely related person. We were discussing about what to do with a certain project that was initiated some years back, but was left hanging for more pushing matters.

So, we finally set the time to talk about it. It was actually a very relaxed conversation. We settled some points right there and then. And decided that some other not so very crucial matters can be done later on.

All is well… or at least I thought.

I was relieved.

Or I was deceived.

After that meeting, I lost contact with the person. Or the person refused to talk to me since then.

This is what I meant when I mentioned that I get lost in translation or I don’t know how to read between the lines.

What went wrong? Have no clue at all.

Oh well, I can’t seem to please everybody.

I have to appease myself in thinking that I know I have done nothing wrong. Or maybe…

That thin thread between love and hatred

“If you miss something, you should go find it,
Fight for it! Grab it! Keep it!…
…that’s how we should live our lives!”

“What am I to you?
In a place far away from everything and everyone,
You are…. the one I always want to be with for a long, long time!”

When my concerns melt away,
Blowing softly with the breeze of wind…
I feel there’s nothing much to life
I just have to enjoy each moment, it makes me feel energized!
Like a drug, that’s what you are to me!

Sparks of lightning and stars falling can be caused by true love, that leads to heaven and eternity; or by deep hatred,
that causes separation, loneliness and frustrations.

You can chose which direction we should go.
Either one or the other– just not in limbo!

Happy Easter everyone

The Easter bunny came,
Looking so sad and drained
When asked why he looked so Grimm,
He replied: because of covid-19

Not only that…
people don’t seem to understand,
instead of staying at home…
they go out to party and have fun.

Not taking into consideration the sickness,
The gravity of the virus that is causing discomfort,
trouble and pain to everyone.

Still, I hope the occasion will bring us Blessings
Not loosing Hope and Faith to our Almighty,
The son who died and was risen again…
to save all mankind util the end!

Excuse the flaming… this is the epistle of myself and I.

It’s been a long time that I have given up on trying to please others. I have decided never to waste my time and effort to those who do not appreciate me. I choose now to share my life only with those who deserve me, my time and my effort. My love I will gladly give you. My trust and loyalty is true only if you do deserve them. Otherwise, I let go!!!

If you don’t like me, for whatever reasons you may have conjured up in your tiny thank then that is fine. I will not enforce myself upon you also. Do not expect me to try and please you because I definitely will not do so. I will accept your opinion as it is. But I will not waste my precious time on you.

I will not explain and justify my actions to you who only give malice to others. I think we are already old enough not to play dumb and dumber s*** to each other. 

I have much better things to do than just kiss their sorry a***.

In bloom again

My orchids are in full bloom again.
The poor batch has been struggling for months. Yes, they were sick for awhile.
After months of TLC, they are finally showing happiness!

They are happy… and I am too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This reminds me two things:
**My grandma loved Orchids. (That’s why I do too!) 🙂

**She always said: “Everything has it’s TIME”

Time…was here, now, later…
…you don’t have it,
…or it goes so fast..
for all you know, it’s only in the mind —
It does take you… to tomorrow and beyond past!

Take time everyone!
Time is precious,
Time is worth more than gold
Time used unwisely,
Can never be returned…
Time heals,
Time reveals.

Everything and nothing takes time…
So, spend it wisely,
Spend it for good memories…
Time spent on bad ones, let it go!
For we already know, what was spent, we won’t be able to retrieve.
Instead learn from it, and in time we’ll get better
And far more worthy will be achieved!

Kitchen hunt

I guess it is already that time.

After almost twenty years, it’s finally at its end…well, actually barely!

It sounds like an old person who’s bone and knuckles are making strange noises all the time. At a step, when bending, when standing up…upon sitting down. Its pain can be heard by the creaking noises it makes.

I guess it is really just normal. I feel the same about my body sometimes… yikes!

But, I, with my practicality and stingy-sense, still want to try and salvage it. I told hubby to just oil and repair the hinges that have been complaining all the time. In the end, I have to admit… and accept the fact: It’s time to find the replacement.

So, for several weeks now, hubby and have been planning and hunting for a new kitchen.

We have been to several companies getting expert advises and checking out their exhibits, but.. so far, with no luck.

They were all either too expensive… or much too expensive, hahaha!!!

Didn’t I mention already that I am ahemmm.. practical???

I need help… I am torn!

Should we? shouldn’t we?

If so, how much must it be?

I didn’t realize that to buy a whole kitchen the price range that I would need to consider should be somewhere from 5K upwards. And see how simple it is.

That’s like buying a new car in the Philippines. Consequently, that’s also the same price that a house renovation in the Philippines would cost. A whole life’s worth for some…. and here in Europe, it’s apparently a normal kitchen price to consider. Dühhh!!!

New Year (times) Two

Nag daan na ang dalawang bagong taon: Ang bagong taon ayon sa Gregorian calendar at ang bagong taon ayon sa Lunar calendar.

Ako, naka ugalian ko na ang mag handa para sa pag sapit sa dalawang araw na ito. Hindi man ma garbo ang handa ko, pero kahit sa maliit na paraan ay idina raus ko ito ng may saya sa puso. Siyempre, hindi ko din kina liligtaan ang mga bagay at pagkain na dapat ihanda bago sumapit ang dalawang okasyon na ito.

Dahil para sa akin ang bagong taon ay nagdadala ng bagong pag asa at bagong oportunidad kaya dapat itong tina-tanggap at sina-salubong ng may galak sa puso. Dala nito ang Pagkakataong baguhin ang mga hindi ka anib anib na mga kaugalian o mga hindi ka nais nais na mga asal. Dala nito ang mga bagong pangarap na pwede nating ma rating.

Maligayang pag dating 2019! Salamat sa bagong pag-asa na iyong dala para sa buong sanlibutan!

 

Remembering …

…my birthplace, my childhood and my Mamang…

My parents were always out of town or out of the country – busy making a living. Hence, we – my siblings and I were left behind with our grandmother in the old house in Dipolog; the city where I was born.

The house was made out of wood and was elevated enough to avoid it being flooded. The front door entrance stairs and landing were made of cement though. Connected to the landing a small cemented room where we did the laundry and took our baths. No, it was not the toilet, because our toilet was located at the back of the house on a separate lean-to-cube.

Yes, I guess, that was how it used to be in the Philippines. Most houses didn’t have the toilet inside the house. One needs to take a candle or some kind of torchlight to go to the toilet at night. That was why the kids grew up with the routine. On a school week, some days after school, we were allowed to play around with the neighbors’ kids along the streets, until before nightfall.

In the Philippines, it gets dark quite early. So, we were always told to clean up: wash the hands and feet or take a bath and do toilets rituals before dinnertime. Sometimes, we wanted to play a bit longer out on the streets, this was okay as long as we were all clean and smelling fresh before our grandma would come home from work. Yes, she went to work – how else could she have raised all 10 children on her own without her husband? Our grandfather left her early. He succumbed to Tuberculosis-but that’s for another story.

If one was caught smelling like dried sweat and sunburnt, then our grandma would know that that person missed the ritual because he/she must have come home really late. He or she would definitely get punished.

The punishment was never violent though. The punishment was either to recite the multiplication table or recite some kind of terribly long poem. Or perhaps sing a song in front of everybody. The singing was fun.

The poem was one written by the Philippine National Hero, Dr. Jose Rizal’s, i.e. “Mi Ultimo Adios” in Spanish or “My Last Farewell” in English. Yes, at that age, we were already taught to speak English and Spanish. I never had problems with the first one. Just Spanish … and the multiplication (Math) were both my Waterloo. Both were really, really hard for me. I do regret it now though. I could have made good use of the Spanish language at work. Unfortunately, the few words that got stuck with me are not enough to make a proper conversation with a local Spanish speaker. Oh, I digress!

So, I was always careful not to get caught smelling like I’ve been out in the sun the whole day. Or getting caught coming home late. I made sure instead, to be able to go out on weekends. The excuse I most of the time used was to sell any excess harvested fruits from my grandma’s farm. I loved that chore because of several reasons.

First, I could walk around the whole neighborhood, seeing my classmates and friends along the way. Second, the earnings I got from selling the fruit was my own weekly pocket money. Although I still had to give it to my grandma, I always felt like it was mine, since I worked hard selling it. Third and probably the most precious to me, was the freedom to be alone for those few hours. Growing up in an extended family household, one would have no peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. I grew up with my brother and two sisters and several cousins. We were always together, after school, during weekends, either just studying, watching movies, playing at the city plaza or spending time at the beach. We were allowed to do all these as long as we have all done our assigned household chores. That’s our childhood generation.

OH, by the way, at that time, worries and fears about children being abducted, kidnapped, to be sold somewhere for slavery or worst to be robbed of their organs to sell or scattered pedophile snatching/molesting kids— was nonexisting! If I am not mistaken, that only came up later in the 80’s era and only in big cities.

Anyway, today, I woke up to a dream.

I dreamt about being in the big wood house in the Province. I dreamt about the song my brother used to practice at home for a school musical. I dreamt about being with my grandma again. In my dream, I was sitting close to her…smelling her beautiful fragrant, soft skin. I was rubbing my face to her arm while–thumb sucking! Yes, I also had that very nasty habit until I was 7 years old. It was a sign of my insecurity, I think.

In my dream, the next scene: I was watching my brother practicing his own version of Harry Belafonte’s “Banana Boat Song”. I could hear myself humming along to his song. I saw myself looking up to my grandma. I felt the longing… then I woke up.

My grandma passed away two years ago. Since then, my sister Diday and some relatives have often been vocal that they got a “visit” from our grandma. Whether they were lucid dreaming or they just felt something of her. Smelled her fragrance. Or felt her presence.

I never experienced this before, so whenever they mentioned or talked about the experience, I was always curious and envious. Now, not anymore. I just miss her more.

 

Getting hooked into kd’s and Korean

To help me at work and of course, for self-developmental reasons, I started learning the Korean language.

Ahemm,… okay, admittedly it is actually just an excuse… I am also hooked on KD’s. I believe I already mentioned this in a previous blog. I just don’t know right now, when it was exactly… hehehe. So typically ME!!

Since I like the sound of introducing myself in Korean, I Have just got to end this with: 

안녕하세요. 한나에요. 반가워요!!! (Annyeonghaseyo. Hanna-eyo. Bangawoyo!!!)

A lame excuse for shopping

A guest came up to the counter one day with a very upset face.

I could tell, by his reply to my greetings that; from the queuing up at check in, to slugging his luggage to the customs counter and then finally ending up at my counter to claim his VAT back, he was already thinking he won’t do it again next time.Not to mention – getting embarrassed because at the customs counter, he had to open his luggage where the purchased items where mixed with his worn clothing and other private stuff.

To my greeting, he replied with:

“Hmmmp! Why do women love to shop? Why do they shop too much?”

My immediate reply caught his attention:

“Speaking for myself, I believe that shopping is some kind of “Therapy”. “Retail theraphy” makes women happy, their loved ones, in this case, you the husband, even happier—with a *wink*!  And the good news is: You get to claim the VAT back.”

Sir, do you know what HHWW means?

He replied: “No. What’s that?”

It means: Holding Hands while Walking. So if someone says to you, i saw them at the park or at the mall doing HHWW… *wink* that’s what it means. Nothing bad, just sweetness!

Now, how about SSHW?

“Ahmm.. I guess i have no clue”, was his reply.

Shopping, makes us Super Happy makes us Work again eagerly.

The wife goes Shopping…(S)

After shopping, she is happy… consecutively you are also happy.

So now the both of you are “Super Happy”…. (SH)

YOU are a businessman? You came here for business and pleasure combined?

He relied again: “Yes, yes, that’s correct”

OK. So, to complete the anagram and the cycle, you as businessman must make this experience again to your advantage… The only Work (W) left to be done is to get back some money from the shopping done by the wifey! – hehehe.”

To make a long story short, my guest who was on the verge of exploding, left the counter with a jolly goodbye and a smile on his face.

I am positive, the next time he would visit another country, he would inquire again on how to go about claiming the VAT back on his expenditures. With or without the a female companion tagging along.

Reflecting on his statement: “Why women love to shop” – for me it really is some sort of therapy. It doesn’t necessarily have top be shopping per se. It could also be, just window shopping. Kind of a “go-see” what’s new, what’s in, what is trending and how much it may cost. Of course, to be able to try them on and see if what looks good on others, would also look good on me, is a bonus.

People can also browse and shop online, I know… but to try it on immediately and not having to wait  several days later… that is something one can only do by going to the shop/malls personally.

I mean -Shopping a my therapy. If I am feeling down today, I want to cure myself today.. not halfway today and again a few days later. I would rather prefer to do lift my spirits up today! You get me?! *wink*

Shopping gives me motivation and courage.

When I shop, it gives me a push in the positive direction. It gives me the energy to face struggles when I am at a crossroad. It even helps me come up with new ideas.

Shopping makes me happy

It reminds me of the people I love, my family, my friends because when I shop, I don’t only think of buying for myself, but also for my love ones.

Shopping makes me feel sexy.

Hormones go wild when I enter my favorite store and finding new articles that are IN at the moment. Shopping for me is also some kind stimulant. A drug or some kind of foreplay-if you may want to call it at that.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not addicted to shopping. I DO shop till I drop sometimes – or till my CC can’t handle it anymore… whichever comes first! But I don’t splurge… NOT ALWAYS!

How about you? What’s your excuse for shopping?